Sometimes, you’re dating someone and all of a sudden, it hits you: this person is way more into me, than I’m into them. It’s an awkward moment when that happens. You’ve just started seeing this person and you’re not sure how you feel, but their eagerness turns you off. Has this ever happened to you? Has it happened too late? Here are some signs to help you in the future. Godspeed.
— Capt Mike Lindbery (@VCFD_PIO) October 19, 2014
Yup, this actually totally happened. A woman in Thousand Oaks, California, wasn’t quite ready to let her relationship with a man named Lawrence stall, so she jammed herself into his chimney, and promptly got stuck. Firefighters had to get her out with dish soap. After they took her to the hospital, she was arrested for “illegal entry and providing illegal information to a peace officer.” Need we explain why pulling the Ole Saint Nick is a bad idea? I think we need not.
It’s almost Halloween and, with everyone taking the opportunity to wear costumes, it’s easy to get a little confused. Is that your boss, or is it really a 145 pound cat with a receding hairline? Hard to tell, right?
Well, one common concern on a lot of girls’ minds this time of year is whether or not their boyfriend is actually a pumpkin. Did I pick up a cute guy at Trader Joe’s, or was that just an exceptionally flawless gourd on sale? Look, I get it, which is why I have compiled a quick and easy cheat sheet you can discreetly check while watching Hocus Pocus this weekend.
If you answered “YES” to more than three of these questions…Chances are, you might be trying too hard to make it work with seasonal vegetable.
Welcome back to The Best Lady tweets, in which I pour over Twitter for the best tweets from funny and smart women. Because I think we should celebrate funny and smart women, because why not? So here are some real tweets for y’all to enjoy.
My sister asked if I stole her cream sweater. Uh, yeah. Who else would’ve stolen it? You think a burglar broke in and was like “Cute top!”
— Lauren Reeves (@laurenreeves) October 8, 2014
I’ve written before about ladies who propose marriage to their gentlemen, like the girl who proposed to her guy with a pillow fort. But I’ve never seen a woman propose marriage to her man via song, and that’s exactly what this couple did. While leading the audience in song, Lisa Lewis threw a twist in there and proposed to boyfriend David Runco Gibbs during their set. Everyone cheered and it was lovely.
To Lisa, I say, that is pretty badass. We see so many romantic proposals where dudes are proposing to their ladies, but so few ladies proposing to dudes! And why is that? I think we’ve just become so sold on a certain “this is the way it has to be” mentality. I can’t even think of a moment in pop culture where a woman proposed to a man. Only 5 percent of married couples say that the woman proposed. I’m trying to picture a big rom com ending with the girl proposing to the guy, and I just can’t see it happening.
Have you ever noticed how some of the same scenes play out over and over again when you’re at the bar? If not, maybe you will now!
Your gut says you might be dating a man baby, but how can you really be sure unless you read a bunch of Internet lists to confirm your rising suspicions? This handy guide will help you come to a rational conclusion on whether or not you are dating an adult male, a man child, or quite possibly, a five-year old boy.
I knew everything was going to change when I turned thirty and got married in two consecutive days. But I figured there was no reason to space out these major life events. Bring it on, I told myself. Let’s see what the future holds.
Then nothing changed. My husband and I had been together for a year and a half, and we had moved into a new apartment in the months preceding our wedding. I had already phased out my gaggle of guys and adjusted to a warm and easy routine of contented coupledom. I’d also gone through a ‘process of strategic career adjustment’ (as I deemed it) and was finally embedded in a creative day-to-day of reading about medieval art and philosophy, attempting to write plays, screenplays and novels, and playing music on my piano, flute and guitar.
My world had changed without my noticing it. I realized, with some shock, that I had changed as well.
What had happened to the flitting, pugnacious, amorous and shameless twenty-something lady I had been? How had she disappeared, fading away even from my mind, absolutely, and without saying goodbye?
I became introspective. I had changed, but how and into what? Who had I become?
My favorite English teacher had always said, “people don’t change, they just become more themselves.” I felt this observation to be true. I had evolved, or returned, to a more authentic version of myself. But I was caught pondering: How did the disparate decades of my life cohere? What the heck had I been doing then and what the hell was I doing now?
photo credit: Aisha Singleton Photography
It’s time once again for the Best Lady Tweets! I scope out Twitter for the funniest, truest, greatest tweets written by women, so you don’t have to. Let’s see what we have in store for us this week!
If you plug a waterfall into a GPS it should automatically say, “when possible, please stick to the rivers + the lakes that you’re used to.”
— Toby Herman (@tobyherman27) October 16, 2014
Have you heard of “cuffing season”? Here’s a handy definition from Urban Dictionary:
During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.
Brittany: Why is everyone trying to holla this week like outta no where?
Tiara: You know cuffing season is in full effect right?
Brittany: Oh yeah you right. I know I wont be sleeping alone this weekend.
Like, what? How is this even a thing? How can you possibly force a relationship based on the season?
Nothing makes me smile more than a good tweet. It’s so hard to do sometimes — in just 120 characters you have the opportunity to make someone laugh or say “damn right!” or even just stroke their chin thoughtfully. How do you do it? These ladies pulled it off. Check out some of the funniest, truest, bestest (not a word, I know, whatever) tweets from women this week!
i keep forgetting to listen to haim, but i respect their contributions to good hair
— milt ronmey (@someofmybest) October 9, 2014
I was born to Tindr. Everything about it appeals to every gross part of me. I love engaging with strangers offline, and I love trolling online. Judging people on the fly is totally a skill. Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to fulfill my calling because I was also born a serial monogamist.
I once asked my boyfriend if I could join Tindr and his reply was, “Well, what do I get out of it?” I told him he could be on Tindr too. He said that no, if I got to be on Tindr, he should be allowed to sleep with three different girls. Ok, no.
And so, with no Tindr account of my own, I rely on the kindness of others to let me live vicariously through their profiles. Sometimes they let me have a turn and swiping around, sometimes I get date stories, and then occasionally I’ll get screenshots.
Yesterday, I received a series of screenshots from a friend who thought the conversation with Gabriel was going somewhere until it was very clear it wasn’t. And because she’s basically the best friend in the world, she egged this loser on for the sake of all our entertainment. So thank you dear friend, and also, plug in your phone.
The-Gaggle.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click here to submit your work to us. We love you.