Hello. We meet again. Tonight, I’m praying for love, though I’m beginning to wonder if that request is too general. Perhaps if I’m more specific, this love will happen my way a whole lot sooner.
May he please have Andy Samberg’s sense of humor. Or Jimmy Fallon’s. Or John Mulaney’s. You know what? I’ll just pray that he likes the same Lorne Michaels-produced material that I do.
I pray that he understands baseball, because I don’t have time to teach some dude about America’s pastime when I’m watching the game.
May he possess the ridiculously sexy musical talents of John Mayer. (And may his dating history be exactly the opposite.)
I pray that he’s not the kind of person who answers, “I don’t read,” when asked about his favorite book. I think those people are liars, and if they’re not lying then it’s just depressing.
Please bless him with the skills of either an accomplished chef or an all-star accountant, because although I plan on eventually either learning to cook or learning to do my own taxes, I can’t promise that I’ll get around to mastering both.
He doesn’t have to be an amazing athlete, but I pray that he at least understands that playing the latest edition of Madden on his XBOX 360 doesn’t qualify as physical activity.
And if, somewhere, this guy is praying for a girl like me, please feel free to give him my number. (But maybe let me know if you do, because I absolutely screen my calls.)
Thanks, Joi, for the image!
Megan S. is an associate editor at The Gaggle. She's a big fan of pop culture, comedy and essay collections (but just a regular fan of any sport that isn't softball or golf).
The-Gaggle.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click here to submit your work to us. We love you.