Dating kind of sucks sometimes, especially when you do that thing when you think, “Wow, I’ve just ruined everything.” Here are 10 Dating Mistakes People Make. Most of these I have done. No one is alone here.
10. Forcing conversation.
It’s so easy to do this one. I think all of us want to avoid awkward silences, but we all know that trying to make something less awkward only makes it more awkward. So many times I tell myself, “Don’t be awkward. You’re fine. Just be breezy.” But that usually makes it worse.
9. Analyzing every text.
Some people don’t have their phone glued to them like you do. Some people don’t text as often as you do. Some people don’t like to text as much as you do. Thus, some people do not put in a lot of thought into their texts, other than to get pertinent information across. Do not break down 300 characters into a 5 paragraph essay.
8. Overreacting, or, making problems where there aren’t any.
It’s when everything is fine but you don’t see how everything could possibly be fine and then when it is, you’ll laugh about how silly you were being until you do it all over again.
7. Holding back.
That old, you’re so afraid of “getting hurt” and aren’t sure if you can “put yourself out there” or if you can “let your guard down” so you stay extremely closed off instead, where you’re there but you’re not “there”, making the other person very frustrated until they lose interest entirely, and then you realize, crap, I didn’t actually want that to happen.
6. Disappearing instead of explaining.
Guilty. You’ve been dating someone casually and you weren’t super into it and you want to move on, or maybe you were sort of seeing someone but then you met someone you really want to date, and instead of telling the other person this, you just ignore their texts after a little while and disappear. I’m sorry. I try not to do this anymore.
5. Not forgiving yourself.
You’ve made a mistake and you won’t move on. You agonize over it when you could be learning from it and getting over it instead
4. Setting your expectations too high.
When you put someone up on a pedestal they don’t ever step down. They crash to the floor.
3. Only hearing what you want to hear and ignoring what you don’t.
Sometimes people are blindsided by being broken up with. They’ll say they never saw it coming, and you’re thinking, “Really?” It’s because you’re not the one who is invested, so when your broken up friend comes to you with the story, you’re seeing the major signals that they made minor or ignored completely.
2. Investigating someone’s ex via social media.
HAHAHAHA. OH MAN, AM I GOOD AT THIS ONE. Never again.
1. Catching feelings for someone who doesn’t want a relationship.
It really is the worst. Because you know better, but there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
Good luck, everyone. Do the best you can.
Almie Rose is a writer from Los Angeles. She has a blog, Apocalypstick. In addition to The Gaggle she also writes for Hello Giggles, The Frisky, Thought Catalog, and Genlux Magazine. Her book, I Forgot To Be Famous, is out now. You can follow her on twitter @apocalypstick. Her favorite pastime is eating and drinking and sleeping and then eating again.
The-Gaggle.com is a website that explores modern romance in the Millennial era – which, let’s be honest, looks nothing like we were taught to expect. We feature essays, advice and social commentary with humor, compassion and brains, and we vow never, ever to publish a piece called “The 10 Best Ways to Satisfy Your Man in Bed”. Do click here to submit your work to us. We love you.